When I began my career in management, I noticed that, whilst I was driven by business results, I was motivated more by seeing the transformation of people around me, through their growth in terms of levels of knowledge, responsibility, and positions. In time, I came to realise that I had adopted a management style that was later refined by a good coach under the theme “Leader as Coach”. I came to realise the importance of giving an opportunity to others to grow, and also allowing them to be immersed in a very deep process of learning. These also gave me the opportunity to do other things and thus grow, proving the truism of the paradox that says “To move on, plant roots”. I also came to see how limited it was to focus only on those one had direct supervisory responsibility, and I started on a journey where I increasingly mentored people who did not work with me directly. Simply put, the benefits have been immeasurable.
The first benefit for me was
learning how to engender trust, and also build it. Because in the spaces you
operate when you mentor, you get into deep and rewarding conversations that can
only have real meaning if they are based on trust. In a sense, because you
build a reputation for helping others who allow themselves to be vulnerable in
front of you, your reputation and credibility increases faster than you could
do it by telling others yourself. Your mentees become some of your most
important career ambassadors, and help build a reputation for you that will
benefit you beyond your mentorship relationship.
Secondly, these mentorship
conversations also provide a safe space for the mentor to receive feedback that
they would not ordinarily get. Through a space that is not about judgement, it
is a real joy to take this feedback from people who deeply care about you
because you have developed such a strong relationship with them, and thus they
are as focused on your success as a mentor as you are focused on theirs as
mentees. It is an incredibly unique experience.
Thirdly, from the issues that you
discuss with the one you mentor, you also learn so much about how different
people approach problems. Some of the challenges they face may be similar to
ones you face, but you may not have given yourself the opportunity to think
about them. These discussions can have the unintended consequence of letting
you confront challenges that you may not have been ready to deal with.
Fourthly, through them both the
mentor and mentee realise the value of patience. Since the journey of mentoring
someone to achieve a goal is long, taking at least six months, typically a
year, it requires that there be patience in observing how the process impacts,
and leads the mentee towards the goal that has been identified. I used to think
that this process can be completed and results realised quickly. Through years
of practice, I came to see that it takes a long time, essentially because the
formulation of the problem, challenges and issues is not as simple as the
mentee thinks they are when the discussions begin. The issues get reformulated
and the nature of the problem changes with deeper enquiry, thinking and
dialogue.
Lastly, and not least important,
the ultimate benefit is to see how as a mentor you feel your impact on someone’s
career. Personally, I do count the number of careers I have helped save every
year, more than the ones I have helped advance. And I am always amazed at how
simple the tools are to get to do this and the fact that I am never the one who
actually solves the problem. I just approach these engagements with a focus on
deeper enquiry, care for the individual and allowance for them to reflect and
question a number of assumptions they have. And they tend to have all the
answers.
This process proves true these words from the touching poetic essay by Michael Josephson entitled “What
Will Matter”, which has lines as follows:
What will matter is not what you bought but
what you built,
not what you got but what you gave.
What will matter is not your success but your
significance.
What will matter is not what you learned but
what you taught.
What will matter is every act of integrity,
compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched,
empowered or encouraged others to emulate
your example.
