Leadership and the Courage to Confront

Recently I had to reflect on the meaning of leadership, responsibility, trust and confidence. I was confronted with a moment that called on me to think seriously about how much I attach importance to values and principle, and how prepared I am as a person to accept something that I may feel is not properly thought through. And when this impacts both the decision of others or other interested parties, how much are you prepared to withdraw your specific interest for the benefit of a bigger group. As I went through these thoughts, I was concerned about causing unnecessary conflict. I tossed and turned, thinking how do I deal with a vexing situation that I knew would not necessarily make everyone happy.

I spent time thinking a lot of what is the right thing to do. I had to draw on all my learning and understanding of what leadership and responsibility is about. That it is called upon not when things are easy, but in very difficult and tough moments. And it requires a lot of you in order to either communicate what you want or effect the change that you see. But the more I thought about the situation I was having to deal with, truth and responsibility took me to one decision: rather than simply keep quiet in order to have an artificial peace, it was critical for me to raise the issues and challenges I was seeing.

It is easier to talk about what is the right thing to do than to always do it. Especially when one thinks that it can cause conflict. But I had to tell myself all the time that I needed to have the courage to confront. This is not the confrontation of a person, but to confront the issues. As I thought of the best way that I could approach the problem and communicate it, it became clear to me that I could never live with myself for not speaking my truth. Regardless of how potentially damaging it could mean in terms of how one is seen, I had to draw on every strength I had to raise an issue that I felt could have worse consequences if not addressed.

What did I learn? Most importantly, I learnt that courage is something that draws from another very important aspect that I sometimes take for granted: being principled. It was my understanding of the importance of principle that allowed me to have a voice that allowed for the expression of the courage needed to resolve the issue that I was dealing with.

Secondly, that, even if people may not always like what you say, there will be an ear if the issue comes with clear reasoning, and explanation of the consequences if a particular course of action is taken.

Thirdly, that not every issue arises because people have a wrong intent. They may arise because people make mistakes, overlook something or just do not have enough information. Sometimes they underestimate the consequences. Thus, I learnt that I have more courage to highlight an issue if I speak about the impacts on me rather than worry about the reason why people may have done something. Otherwise I become totally paralysed into inaction.

Fourthly, I learnt that one must always accept that things will not be immediately accepted, and therefore I had to be prepared for a negative response. And also that, if you have the reasons for raising an issue, it allows for people to reflect and review any course of action they have taken.

Lastly, I learnt that one’s own record tends to have an impact especially where people have prior knowledge. It is much easier for people to deal with you on an issue if you do not have a track-record of raising frivolous issues than if you are always seen nagging negatively. Related to this, if you have developed the relationships of trust over time, people will always listen to what you say even if they do not agree.

But I would not have reached where I did if I did not, in the first instance, have the courage to confront.