I was recently contacted by
a friend on a matter that concerns someone close to him who was going through a
major dilemma at work. The problem is one that many who read this would be
familiar with. Essentially, it revolved around a boss that the person could no
longer work with. Of course, I know only one side of the story, but in my
understanding the relationship had broken down to the point that the person
hoped to move to a different department within the employer or just resign from
the job with no immediate alternative. However, with everything seemingly
staked against him, as he was much younger and had a shorter history with the
company than the boss, he felt that he could not win.
Based on what he had seen,
the boss had the capacity to derail any attempt for him to move to another
department. Oddly, but something that did not also sound unfamiliar, this boss
tends to rely on this person for the most complex assignments, but behaves as
if this person is not a valuable member of the team. Layered with the race
dynamic that is so prevalent in corporate South Africa, this young person, who
had grown up in a world that was supposed to be free of racism and
discrimination, felt that he was up against it. In his training and
development, he had assumed his historic good grades at school and diligence at
work was sufficient for him to succeed.
This caused enough stress on
the person that he thought it was better to simply resign without a job. My
friend was asking what I would say in that situation, and whether it was not
better for the person to simply up and go. I indicated to my friend
that in these matters one needed to understand the complexity of things,
including the environment that the person was working under. In addition, from
my experience there is no right or wrong answer, but an appropriate answer for
the context. However, there were fundamental principles and approaches that I
use to help me get to the appropriate decision.
Fundamentally, I always ask
myself why I am in employment and not running my own business. This is a
critical question that informs the choice one makes in terms of pursuing a
career. If the reason I am not running my business is because principally I am
not attuned to creating and running my own business, then my record as a
professional is something that is important to me. In a country that has a high
employment problem, keeping a good job, not necessarily under any circumstance,
is something that I value. Therefore, I tend to be conservative and not want to
take decisions that affect my ability to have an uninterrupted record of employment,
because I know interviewers read a lot into unexplained gaps in a CV.
The other aspect I think
about is that I pursue my career for myself and not for my boss. It may be that
at a particular point in time I may be working for that boss, but I am always
clear in my mind that I do not belong to that person or dependant on him or
her. We have a relationship that arises out of my contractual relationship with
the employer, and my being employed is a function of the value the employer
wants me to add rather than the feelings of my boss. Important as they are, I
refuse to allow them to determine who I am. In order to even be assured of
this, it is important for one to create a professional network that transcends
one’s current function, and build relationships independent of your immediate
superior. Then the world can really appear in your eyes for what it is: a
complex place with abundant opportunities and multiple potential relationships
through which one can unlock the next opportunity.
Related to the above, I
always think about what to do to draw on every inch of personal strength I
have. This can come from me directly, but also from my support network. It is
those who really care for you that can provide an anchor in the most difficult
of moments. Whilst it may be true that you may face problems with your immediate
superior alone in terms of direct work interface, it does not follow that in
seeking to find solutions, you have to do the thinking alone. Getting others to
co-reflect with you is an absolutely critical part of the process, and the
answers that may come through would not have been possible alone. I never want
to be an island.
Part of drawing from your
personal strength requires you to have a multiple approach to dealing with the
challenge you are facing. I have written before on this topic in 2014 (No One Should Have the Power to Derail Your Progress), where
I outlined a six-step process that includes
self-reflection, understanding the opposition, sense of own value, trusted and
value network, confrontation and owning the solution. If the problem is also to
do with an insecure boss, I can refer to my other article on some tactical
approaches to use (Asserting Self to an Insecure Boss).
Lastly, one of the most
important things to do is to focus on what has made you get where you are, and
how you can use your strengths to leverage for another opportunity. That means
starting to get out of thinking that the future will start and end with the
current boss. In the interim phase, though, one will have to be patient in
working under such a boss, but in knowing that this is a situation in
transition, your mental state will not be the same as one who thinks they are
in a hopeless and permanent situation. My experience has shown me that such
bosses tend to have the naive assumption that they are the beginning and end of
one’s career. Nothing could be further from the truth and I always want one to
understand and internalise this simple yet powerful truth.
In essence, my response to
my friend is that the person should not be making abrupt decisions, but applies
a series of problem-solving tools and engage in conversations to look at
multiple solutions to their current challenge. Fundamentally, it is about
changing the people one works with if the relationship with a superior is
irreparable. But simply leaving a job out of anger or emotion, because of
someone who does not care for you or your family, may be satisfying temporary
emotion, create a negative long-term impact.
I hope the person reflects.
Good afternoon Khathula, I have been in this situation for a while and I reflect. In my scenario I have a boss who was fired from another big organization, he has hidden animosity that sometimes comes out in a meeting when the previous organisation is present. I refer to a diplomatic type with vast experience which leaves no room for someone else's opinion, not to say I can try my luck because he is my boss. Many people's jobs are currently at stake especially GM's and Exec level because the organisation is financially stressed. My grasp is that he may be feeling pressure at that level and sometimes seem to dominate professional debates with high level quotes which are not known to his juniors. This is portrayed as an effort to protect his juniors by malicious compliance to HR policies. This is the type of a boss who whats to do anything to impress others at the expense of hard workers. Trust me his directives are quite assertive but his general dominance is destructive. People who fear for their jobs tend not to care about how you feel, they only care about themselves. They want to be seen as having the best interest of the organisation at heart by pushing everyone aside along the way. I have come to realize that a boss who does not fully understand your functions may be tempted to change things and pursue his promise to the bigger bosses. This is the type who will occupy 3 offices in one organisation, an over experienced person close to retirement. The only thing I do that seems to be working is to create my own work. The positive side is that he can only give me directions on the work I do more like I win you win situation. What I like most is the retrospective side of planning which he does not know and he likes arguing. At some point he plunges a management meeting right into a technical space and later apologized. Now reflecting on abrupt decisions I often give him space,and when I raise a concerning point he quickly owns assumptions. In my case what pulls me trough is the self value you are referring to. I cannot stress about a boss who wants to be a pop star but I focus more on being productive on my side. Regards Khwange.
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